Ways to Protest and Provide Solidarity

Friends, I want you to know something very important.

You do not have to be in DC in order to protest the BIG issues you do not believe in and stand in solidarity for the issues you do beleive in. You don't even need to march at all. You can stand for the things you believe in by the very way that you move through the world.

Emobodying justice every day is more potent than any one day of marching. 

If you are friends with me on Facebook, you may know that I posted this to my personal page today:

"Thank you to the women who are headed to D.C or already there. 

Remember, please, that you can protest what you don't believe in and show your solidarity for what you do believe in many, many ways by the very nature of how you walk through the world."

If you are marching, yay, awesome, woohoo, high fives, and THANK YOU, but please don't feel like you have to march in order to make a difference. In fact, sometimes the big gatherings can be for show, so if you don't feel it in your heart, skip it. Other side to the same coin, know that numbers speak volumes and can literally and metaphorically create change. So if you do feel it, DO IT.

Mostly, I want you to know that knowing your limits and honoring them is far more important than pushing through them. Society says GO, PUSH. MAKE IT HAPPEN.

We need to start protesting that way of doing things.

The time is now, and below are some ideas about how you can "protest" aside from marching in DC:


  1. Practice radical self-love by tending to a part of yourself that is wounded or feels afraid
  2. Volunteer for a cause that breaks your heart and makes you want to rise up
  3. Reach out to someone in need and ask them to come over or have tea/a meal
  4. Write a blog post or article that you know will help give someone a voice
  5. Join a local gathering or march in your city or state
  6. Host a dinner party and invite people who want to discuss about how to be of service
  7. Hold space for someone who needs to cry
  8. Practice reciprocity -- give to someone and receive from that same person
  9. Use your voice to speak about the things that matter, but refrain from polarizing one another --  on Facebook where it's so easy to do and in life
  10. Sign up for a course or class that helps you understand basic social justice concepts

Know that I am always here for you if you need support. You can find me here!

Take a moment and share how you hope to be a part of the solution, I'd love to hear. . .

Today is HER-STORY in the making

There is something happening right now, today. History, rather HER-STORY is being made simply by the act of being able to cast a vote for a female President of the United States.

There is emotion, as there should be. This election has made waves.

of the largest collective waves here in the US is this: Women are rising up, truth telling, speaking their fears about living in a patriarchal system, talking about when they've been abused, harassed, or assaulted. The things we have been told to stay silent about, not only to tolerate but to live with, we are voicing.

Women are voicing their worth.


Women, friends, human beings: We need not forget that the patriarchy does not mean man. Yes, we have called this system of mis-directed, mis-used, confused, aggressive, non-generative power "The Man" because men are born into more power than women are. "The Man" has thus become the way to speak of those who have ultimate power.

Let's please not confuse men as the sole holders of the patriarchy. 

Let's also be clear about this: In a just world men would be saying, "Yes, we have gender privilege and power." "Yes, we understand that we are players in the game of life by being born into this body costume." The problem is that this is not happening across the board. 

Hear this men: It doesn't matter whether you've been the most conscious male identified man of all mans ever to grace the earth. It doesn't matter if you've been holy respectful, a goddess worshiper, or even an ally for women. If you are a male, in our culture, especially if you are cis-gender (which means that you were born with the human anatomy of a man and you also identify as a man) you have unearned leverage by way of privilege and power. It is therefore your responsibility to work to understand how, regardless of your own actions or beliefs, this has impact on women.

I want to go on the record here: Personally, I love men and I am not angry with men. I am a raging humanist who understands this systems shit pretty damn well, and I want more than anything for us all to start to understand it. Because there is so much confusion around it, there is too much blame and guilt happening, and that gets us no-where.

Men, please know this: I don't want you to feel guilty. Please do not walk around apologizing. For the love of humanity, please do not do that. This puts us in the place of needing to pacify you for your right actions, and we are yet again in the place of being oppressed -- the ones having to do all of the work.

Here's what I am saying.

Get to know this about us and start spreading the word:

"I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother

I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change and today won't mean a thing."

Yes, those are the lyrics from an Alanis Morissette song. Cheesy, I know.

BUT, that's what I'm talking about.

The feminine nature is creative, abundant, circular, it grows and weaves and turns and reproduces. Don't mistake this with women only please. Not all people who were born with vaginas identify as women. Or men for that matter. If you are brave enough to digest those words, and step off of the binary in any given group of people, you will see that there are always countless and limitless ways to express oneself.

Men, here's what you can do: start internalizing, digesting, and speaking to THAT.

Women, raise your hands if you have ever been called a whore?

Raise your hands if you've ever been called too much?
Raise your hands if you've ever been called a bitch?
Raise your hands if you've ever been called cold?
Not giving enough? 
Not empathetic enough?
Not a good listener?
Too sexy?
Not sexy enough?
Too wild?
Too shy?

If you've been told to smile more? Give more? Not give that much though? Give more space? But not too much?

Too much?
Not enough?


Do you see how totally insane, imbalanced, and persecutory this is. . .?

Men, start understanding and speaking to this: We are all sinners and we are saints.

All of us.

Start embracing THAT.

We need to be able to allow each other to walk through this world as the women we are -- complex, beautiful, messy human beings. We are all the many expressions of the little girl, the adolescent, the maiden, the mom, and the krone.

No exceptions.

I'm tired of comparisons, and comparisons are a symptom of the patriarchy.

Men and women, it is our responsibility -- our fucking god damn righteous responsibility to start to own this. We are not the patriarchy, we are a symptom of the patriarchy. 

The system of "The Man" has pitted us against each other. It says more, faster, not enough, too much, this way is the best way. This way is the only way.

Women are told to be more beautiful, more domestic, more malleable, skinnier, richer, busier, better mulit-taskers than each other, etc, etc.

Men are told to be stronger, tougher, less tough, less emotional, more emotional, more of a provider, more of a stay at home kind of guy, etc, etc.


For the love of the god and the goddesses, just stop. 

We are all living through an amazing time in history where we are being given an opening. The opening is into her-story.

Let's please rise to the occasion and remember that you are an expression of the universe and the universe is forever expansive. The universe doesn't have boxes or labels, it multiplies and grows exponentially, and by it's very nature it screams this: "You are all of it."

Her-story is in the making.

We are calling forward the rise of something new.

I am praying to the gods and the goddesses that we vote Hillary into the house, but regardless of how this election ends, we have spoken.

It is time.

It is time to allow women to proliferate their own sense of being: to be the whore, the prude, the bitch, the nice girl, the bad girl, the one who has nothing in order, the one who has it all in order.

Wear that pant suit today women.

But, use it as a reminder that you can wear whatever the fuck you want.

We are all saints, and we are all sinners. Today is herstory in the making.

With LOVE.

You are NOT your anxiety and fear!

We ALL experience varying degrees of anxiety, fear, depression, grief because we are human and this is the gig we signed up for!

Especially in the times we are living, how can we not...?!?


Let's find a new perspective so that we can hear the soft whispers and ferocious cries from spirit and move through this life with more ease.

& of course, LIVE YOUR FREEDOM. Whatya say to that...?

Video is 4:30 minutes.

Click here to watch.

'd love to hear your responses!

With LOVE,


Knowing when to say f@#k off

Often times I see variations of the same patterns show up for my clients.

And in the world.

Lately, I am noticing this:

There is confusion between what is uncomfortable and when it's kindly time to say fuck off.

When icky feelings inside of your body show up, listen to them. When you hear something deep down inside that says something is not right, it isn't. Perhaps you are being mistreated, manipulated, used or abused. You may be engaging in something that is unsafe for your emotional, physical, or mental well being. Maybe you are simply tolerating a system of beliefs that bypass your true emotional state. Those feelings of icky, yucky, no. Yeah, those ones. Get to know what they feel like and start listening to them.

When these feelings show up in your body it means that it's time to say f#@k off. 

Feelings of ick are different than feelings of uncomfortable and knowing the difference is important. Discomfort is something we all feel, probably daily these days with the state of the political, social and environmental world we are living in. Working with feelings of discomfort is a spiritual practice. Discomfort can take us to the edge and help us breakthrough.

Feelings of ick means it's time to say NO.

Have you ever heard something along these lines: "You shouldn't feel that way." or "You should feel a certain way." You may have heard this from family, friends, partners, lovers, work, the media. Perhaps you read body language and eye contact like I do and have picked up these messages that way. Possibly you were not validated for how you feel or were not seen for who you are which carries the above messages covertly. 

So, hear this instead.
You should feel exactly how you are feeling.

It is your right to feel exactly what you are feeling. This is your inner compass tuning your dial to the direction you need. Your body holds the answers to your purpose, your gifts, your unfolding questions, and your mission. Your inner GPS system will not lead you astray.

You should feel exactly what you are feeling!

We also need to be very careful of the modern rhetoric that says everything that shows up in your life is a direct result of something you've done, a direct response to one of many thoughts you've had, or something that you've attracted into your life. Essentially, this pervasive spiritual ideology can lead to shaming, blaming and it can be emotionally abusive. It can also bypass right by your honest to goddess feelings.

The universe has its own way of unfolding.

Hear this also. I am not saying that we don't have the ability to line ourselves up alongside of this unfolding and make shit happen like magicians do. I am not saying that we don't receive messages, downloads, gifts, and opportunities from this very source. I am saying this: the universe is benevolent, nature is imperfect in its fullest expression, and things happen that we have absolutely no control over. It is your responsibility to understand what messages are aligned for you and which are not.

My guess is that anyone reading this understands synchronicity and believes in magic.

Also, know that life is a series of random events.

Karma is the Sanskrit word that you've probably heard people put with the saying, "...is a bitch", but Karma is, simply stated, an algorithm. Yes, sometimes algorithms are a bitch. Karma is predictability and the facts. Karma is knowing that the acorn always turns into the oak tree. Lila is the Sanskrit word meaning the dance of life. Lila is the idea that anything can happen at any time. It is the acorn that falls into the lake and never turns into the oak tree. Karma and Lila are always at play together. Always. This is how we get variation in the universe and also in our bodies.

Listen closely to those variations.

1,  There are going to be people, places, and things that are not right for you. This is not only okay, it is good. You do not need to apologize and you are allowed to say no. When you feel the feelings of inner ick roaring, listen to that inner wisdom.

2, Pay attention to your own feelings above the masses and the messages that you receive out there. It is your right and these feelings will help you decipher your path, lead you in the right direction, and lead the way to your freedom and truth.

3, Know that unacceptable, unsafe, not well for the health of our body, soul, heart and mind is different than uncomfortable. Unacceptable is unsafe. Uncomfortable can take you to your edge and help you break through. Know that confusion stems when you do not know the difference and we grow up in a world that does not know, teach, or advocate this difference.

4, Start learning the distinction between feelings of unacceptable and uncomfortable in your body because it can save your life. This distinction is imperative, crucial, mandatory, should be taught in Kindergarten, grade school, High School and College.

If you are saying to yourself: 

"I don't know the difference."
"I often bypass my own feelings."
"I am at a threshold." 
"I am confused and overwhelmed."
"I want more out of my life."
"I want to know my own unique self, purpose, plan."
"I am on a mission." 
"I want ultimate peace."
"Jen, you are speaking directly to me."

Know this. I can support you.

My signature Live Your Freedom Program is broken up into 3 parts:

Connection to self, Connection to others & world, and Connection to earth.

We need all 3 to live free.

Check it out!

If there is a part of you that knows that you must, you cannot wait any longer, you are ready to live a life of freedom, reach out. That same part of you that knows that you are ready to have full ownership over your feelings and read your own souls sweet story. Yeah, that one. The one that belongs to you, not anyone else. Have that one hit the reply button and send me a message or contact me here.

There are many ways to kindly and energetically say f#@k NO.

As always, sending you love and the permission to live your freedom.

Why I am Ditching Therapy

For a while now, my clients have been saying, "...but you do so much more than therapy."

While I know this to be true, I have been holding tight to my title and my credentials. I worked hard for my two Masters degrees and I've been resistant to being clumped into a category called spirit based entrepreneurs. This is sacred work and so maybe if I continue to call myself a therapist and hold tightly enough to the title, the work won't be corrupted. These are some things I was telling myself. And, what the fuck do I call myself if I don't call myself a therapist? 

I realized recently with the help of a mentor of mine, that you simply cannot corrupt authenticity. It is impossible because inauthenticity is not sustainable. If something is not authentic, it will always be revealed in the fullness of time.

When I pause to consider what it is that I am doing with people, it is therapy. And, it is broader than just therapy.

Here is what I know:

The work is a culmination of my MA level knowledge in psychology and education combined with years or lifetimes of a spiritual practice. It holds pieces of me as a teacher of sacred geometry of the body (otherwise known as yoga) and a student of the myths and archetypes of the gods and the goddesses that give us entry way into our fractal selves. There is a good amount of somatic psychology and the trainings and time I spent studying the body sensations and how movement maps onto the developmental stages of life. The work contains my own knowledge and inquiry around excavating the under belly of my own soul, a sincere practice of how to ride the waves of the emotions and sync movement up to breath. And it incorporates years of being a social advocate. My life has been oriented to helping people and communities enter into full re-births by navigating the most chaotic of the chaotic. So what I know is that if you work with me, you are in good hands.

When I tell you I am ditching therapy, it's not to be a rebel or in an act to be above anything. It is in an act to be in alignment with my heart and the way in which my soul responds to the call of the divine. I have earned secure attachment and have clear boundaries, and I no longer feel the need to abide by a set of rules because I've never been much of a rule follower. I have always followed my own deep knowing as my ultimate guide.

Yes, we will do more than therapy when we work together -- and there is also therapy, because I understand and honor the therapeutic model and relationship and know that people can only truly thrive when they feel safe. I also will support you to dive into but not dwell in the things that have shaped your life experiences and move to expand beyond your own sense of self. I want you to be able to connect to your own heart, feel your own body, and know your own soul. I want you to understand your essential sense of self, how that aligns to spirit, and know how to step into the always fractal and amazingly imperfect image of who you are at your core. I want you to trust your guidance so fully that you trust your gifts, your purpose, your plan here on earth.

I want you to know that you are adult and that if you grew up trusting an untrustworthy caregiver and world, you have been the victim of abuse, you have been involved with partners that have manipulated you or mistreated you, or you have been inundated with trauma. . . I want you to know that you still have a right and a responsibility to your own body, your own breath, your own SELF. I also want you to know that you have choice now, and with choice comes freedom.

I am ditching therapy because I need to step into more of myself so that I can serve and mentor more people along this path. I want you to know that I do not believe in the guru model -- I believe in equality and knowing that we are not all equal yet, and I believe in sweet whispers and ferocious calls from something much bigger than me.  

Truth be told, I've been in a downward spiral since I realized that my first blog post came out almost exactly two years ago. Until I stopped to realize today that my first blog post was all about in order with my own authenticity, my own natural rhythm, aligning who I am to the divine. Do I have to tell you how often I am told that I am not like everyone else. . . probably not if you know me. But if you don't and you are still reading this, you should know that being able to hear and respond to the beat of my own drum has been the key that has unlocked the door to my own sense of contentment and peace. So I'm ditching therapy to cast a wider net and help unearth ultimate peace. 

This is my first step.

With love and a deep sense of gratitude to each one of you.

How To Know What You Really Want

Do you want more access to what you want out of life?

I mean, what you really want...like, your deepest soul calling, the thing and things, the people and the places. Yeah, the ones that make you say with clarity, "Yes, I am here with purpose." When we follow these callings with a sense of equanimity, they lay the foundational support to our freedom.

In this vid we will talk about how to gain access to what it is that you really want and I will guide you through a practice to help you step onto your path of knowing.

Click here for the video! 

Let's Find Our Way Through the Collective Chaos

Happy Summer. I hope you are staying cool, having some fun, and finding beauty in your life. A good friend of mine once said something to me that will always stick with me. He said, “Jen, there will always be art, so there will always be beauty.” As a therapist and an activist, the roar for justice for the individual and the collective has always had my heart -- sometimes it’s had it in knots, sometimes wide open, sometimes in wild screams of anger. I offer you the idea of finding beauty around you as an opportunity to stay grounded in these times.

I also have another offering that I think you may be interested in.

The body-centered, soul oriented work that I have been doing in my private online and in-person therapy practice lends itself to a vision of people who are moving towards living in their bodies and the world in a just way. I’ve been focused on the individual end of Live Your Freedom’s overall mission for the past year and a half -- the idea of digging deep with-in oneself in order to unearth our own peace and connection, come into wholeness, and move through the world with confidence. Of course, I remain fully committed to that piece and am offering 1:1's ongoing. Additionally, right now, I feel it’s time to offer another part of myself. I have always known that Live Your Freedom is not only about repairing our individual fragmented souls but also it is about the soul of humanity, which also fragments due to trauma, story and oppression. And we are seeing our collective trauma exploding at an all time high right now.

When things get pushed down, when people get pushed down, when the structures of privilege, power and oppression run so deep in our bodies, culture, country, the land, and in our world that there is nowhere for them to go -- they explode.

You may or may not know that my career -- or really my life -- has been dedicated to social justice. The call was so strong for me from the time I can remember, that I often felt I had no choice in the matter. Now I realize that the doors just opened up so widely that I had no choice but to walk through them. My work in the public school systems in San Francisco, South City San Francisco, and Harlem, NY along with almost a decade at the University of Colorado implementing and running social justice based leadership programs, in constant dialogue with amazing educators in the field, and presenting on social justice issues regularly -- is ready to be shared with the broader world on a large scale.

I have remained clear to the vision of bridging the gap between the worlds of soul-centered spiritual work and social justice. Having walked in both worlds for my whole adult life, it seems clear that there is a wide disconnect and a wide opportunity -- and  that we need to build a new foundation gracefully, sturdily, and from the ground up.

The last online course I offered with Jessica Boylston-Fagonde -- professional and personal development educator and founding member Gun Sense SC -- Give Rise to Your Voice and Be the Change, threw us straight into conversation and creation of what’s next.  My hope is to launch more courses in the next few months —inspired by my work today and my collaborative efforts with Jess.

In our process of creating these courses, we felt the immediate need to create a space for candid dialogue, education and inquiry. So next week, Wed. July 27th at 9am PST/ Noon EST, we’ll have our first Pop-Up Conversation on the topic of Unpacking Privilege:  A dialogue about privilege and how unpacking our own can help create a more just and inclusive world.

This will be an open discussion to address the overwhelming feelings and uncertainty of our times and inspire healthy change. Each call focuses on a social issue and will explore ways to manage our feelings. Calls are supported by a social justice educator, activist, therapist or change maker who will provide a teaching moment and answer questions.

To listen or participate in this free call, go to www.PopUpConversation.com and add your EMAIL ADDRESS to receive the call-in # straight to your inbox. All calls are recorded and emailed in case you miss them. We’ll keep you updated about the next Pop-Up Conversation. Feel free to email with questions:  PopUpConversation@gmail.com. Everyone is welcome, so please spread the word!

With Love!

Why We Need to Stop Using the Word Tribe

I have been hearing the word tribe thrown around for a long time.

In the world I now find myself in of entrepreneurs and solopreneurs, I hear it even more.

Here is why we need to think twice about using the world tribe. Better yet, simply stop using it all together.

It is appropriation.


  • the adoption or use of pieces or elements of culture by another
  • may lead to the new culture being seen as the holder or originator of these pieces/elements 
  • taking components of a culture that are not your culture and adopting them as your own
  • creates a power dynamic in which the dominant culture is taking things from an oppressed culture

Yes, that's right friends, the term tribe is form of appropriation.

Let me break it down for you: when this land was colonized by white settlers, there were tribes. We came, we conquered and we divided those tribes. We colonized the land and disregarded the ways of life that were in place. In doing so, we implied that our way is the right way, that their way of living was unimportant, that their culture was unimportant. Let that sink in for a minute. I know many of you do not believe this to be true. Hear this, that doesn't matter. Take a breath. What matters is that we are a part of the DNA of this country and how it came into being, and it is up to us to change the story. Now.

A step in the right direction is that now-a-days, many of us seem to understand that there is something profound to that way of life. The part to pay attention to is that we want it back and we are used to getting what we want -- comparatively speaking. We want to feel more connected and in doing so, we call ourselves a tribe. Here's the important piece -- we have spent years holding down the systems that were created upon tribalism in order to cultivate a sense of individualism. We need to understand that we have been fighting, literally killing people for a certain way of life -- a more secluded life -- a life that is built upon the perception of freedom. This doesn't mean you shouldn't move towards a more connected way of life, please do! It also means, however, that we need to do this gracefully. We can not just decide to take back the word tribe and use it for our own security, safety and benefit with out being a part of the problem.

Here's what would have been awesome when white settlers landed here. Cultural exchange; an exchange between cultures to provide mutual understanding

Don't confuse appropriation with  assimilation. It's kind of like saying all lives matter. Assimilation; a marginalized culture adopting elements of the dominant culture for survival purposes 

Additionally, it is a form of power abuse to call yourself a leader of a tribe. We imply that people who follow our work belong to us -- and that is an abuse of power. 

You can make big strides today for the state of our world by being an example.


Consider stopping using the word tribe. 

Adopt the use of the word community.

And delete the word MY in front of either.

With Love and Gratitude!

How to take the Breath that will change Your Life

You may be asking yourself, why learn how to breathe in a new way?

Here's the simple answer: because you were given the gift of breath. It is the first thing you do when you are born and the last thing you do when you die, so it's important. 

Also, the breath is an entry way to self-trust and peace. When we use the breath as a way to steady ourselves, we become more deeply connected to our own truth and thus our own sense of freedom.

We are going to break this down into 2 parts. Part 1 is how to take a full and complete breath and part 2 is how to move it into all 4 directions. I urge you to consider reading both even if you feel like you already know how to take a full breath. My guess is there is something new in here for you.


1) Close your eyes.

2) First, simply notice the breath -- resist the urge to do anything to it. Here are some things to notice: can you feel your breath? Is is shallow? Is it spacious? Is it short? Is it long? 

3) Now find the base of the spine. This is the place where a tail is on a dog. The in-breath lives here -- it is where your gifts, your creativity, your joi de vivre resides. It is the place in our bodies where we draw the breath from the earth's body. So yeah, you want to be able to find that place! If you are having a hard time, rock the hips back and forth to wake it up. The area around the tailbone -- the pelvis, the abdomen, the belly -- this is your root.

4) Draw the breath from your root into your abdomen, up into your stomach, through your solar plexus, into the rib cage, sternum, filling up the lungs and the heart center, passing through the throat. See how slow, spacious and full you can make the breath in this step. Take the breath all the way up to the top of the head. Repeat this process of taking a full and complete in-breath several times.

5) At the top of your next in-breath pause for a moment -- the pause is important, it is the space and time between the in-breath and the out-breath, and it is the place where the breath unites. This place is filled with endless possibilities. We tend to rush through this space because it can be scary, but it's where inspiration and the ability to alchemize that inspiration into something unique lives, so hang out there for moment.

6) Let the in-breath find the out-breath and allow them to dance back down the spine as one united and seamless breath. Follow the same path that the in breath took up the spine but in reverse. Repeat this process several times.

Take 5- 10 full complete breaths :)

Now that you feel like you have found some ease in a full and complete breath, let's add in the directions. Why are the directions important?


In order to feel like you matter, feel good, let go, and understand your uniqueness, practicing what it feels like to fill up from the inside out is essential. Being full of yourself in this way is a good thing. You get to meet the world with a deep sense of knowing and so things that generally scare you, trigger you, or make you feel small, they ease up and you get to live the life you know you are here to live. 

7) Make sure you are either laying down on the ground or sitting on a chair or the couch -- somewhere you can feel contact between your spine and something else.

8) This time as you draw the breath in from the base of the spine and up, gently take the breath into the back of the body. Imagine there is a balloon inside of you and as you draw the breath in, the balloon inflates -- the entire balloon. Feel the back of your spine making more contact with whatever it is touching. The connection to the back of the body is important, it is your connection to something bigger than you -- the divine, the universe, source, god -- whatever you choose to call it. You want to be able to find some fullness there. Repeat this breath several times.

9) Lastly, we are going to see if you can stretch the breath even further by drawing the breath into the sides of the body. As the breath moves up the spine try and move it towards the sides of you. Next time you breathe imagine the balloon getting even bigger and rounder. Energetically, you are creating a safe space for your own self to dwell, your own energetic boundary.

Let's break this down from a body perspective so that it is clear: the front of the body is where we meet the world and it is the place most people move from. Culturally, it is the first place we learn to lead from -- how to fulfill our needs or wants. If you think of a flower, it is the place where the seed starts to push its way through the ground in order to become what it knows -- type, color. The top of the head is our connection to the fractal and ever expanding nature of the universe -- inspiration, ideas, insights. Our back body allows us to lean into something bigger -- trust lives here. The sides of our body symbolize our contact with everyone around us. How we treat other people, beings, the earth. This step is often forgotten and oh so important. 

10) Most importantly, thank yourself. Subtle work is often the most profound work. 

Live your freedom.

Be-head Yourself

This past Monday marked one month of being in my new place in California. I moved back to the Bay Area on April 1st after 10 years living in Boulder, Colorado. As synchronicity will have it, when I opened up Facebook on Monday morning my memories revealed this status from 2011: this is the longest i've lived somewhere since i was 11... with no plans to move -- june 6, 2011

When I bought my home in 2012, it was among other things, an act of revolution. It was me saying to myself, you are safe. It was me saying to myself, you don't have to run. It was me saying to the Holocaust, FUCK YOU.

The felt sense of having to flee lives in my family-story. Fleeing from the emotional, mental and physical body, fleeing from one's home, fleeing from one's country -- this way of being, this feeling -- belonged to my lineage and therefore belonged to me.

There was a lot of stress and fear surrounding the moves I made growing up. My family of origin moved to flee -- to grasp or over-reach towards something other than what was, to fix something, make something better, to escape the pain. Obviously this is futile, but it was the only pattern I knew -- and I knew it deeply -- so I repeated that pattern. 

I never wanted to flee from Boulder, but I did get to the point where I wanted to move.

So I accepted the invitation -- to step to the doorway and heal a pattern. To read the sign that was hanging from the door that said, "enter here if you want to know what it feels like to relocate as opposed to run." What sign is hanging on your doorway?

I stayed in this place for just about 2 years because that's how long it took for my body to fully learn that there was a different way, to feel the difference between running and re-locating. Within this difference lived the opportunity to heal an old pattern. I was ready to allow a death to take place with in myself, to become something new, to re-define one of the ways in which I learned to respond to life. When we begin to do things that are different than the ways we have been doing them, even when they are more geared towards health, our bodies need space to orient to that way of being. The tapestry of our body has to unravel and then re-loom itself. This requires space, support, love, a hand on the heart, a hand on the belly, and a lot of attention to and connection with your own self.

The stories and traumas of our ancestors, the culture we come from, the family we grow up in -- it's all there. No matter how much we talk about it, think about it, contemplate on it, pray about it, try to get to the bottom of it, mind-fuck it away, you likely will not see a true and sustainable long-term shift unless you dig deeply into your own system. 

Here's the thing, we are not here to live out the stories of our ancestors nor are we here to apologize through our actions for the things that they did or didn't do. What they had to endure, the obstacles placed in their path, their traumas, stories of trial and error, those belonged to them. We can honor them. We need to and we must honor them and recognize them as real, but meditate on this: you are here to live into your own story -- to dismantle the parts of yourself that perpetuate any story that is not yours, to take back the parts of yourself that have been lost, to come into wholeness, and to learn how to feel differently and therefore how to respond differently. 

The story of Ganesha gives us some mythological context for all of this. Remember that mythology is a lie in order to see more truth:

Ganesh, pictured above, is born a mortal boy via the longing tears of his mother for a child. When he is born, his mother places him at the doorway of his home as a protecter from his father's entitled entry. When Shiva, the father, sees the boy standing in protection he cuts off the head of his son in fury that he dare challenge entrance into his home. Parviti, the mother, tells her husband that he must go out and make their son whole, that she will never grant him entry into their home unless he retrieves the head of the boy. Shiva calls upon his crew for aide, and they are sent out in search of something. The first thing they happen upon is an elephant, so they cut off the elephant's head and bring it back to Shiva who attaches it to the beheaded body of his son. Though this is not what Parvati expected, a god is born -- the god of the threshold -- Ganesha -- the son of Parvati and Shiva who is neither a human nor an animal -- neither here nor there. Ganesh stands at every threshold of our lives, ushering us into new beginnings. If we accept his offering, we are accepting the death of one part of ourself for the birth of something new, something unknown. This is the ultimate gift of freedom. 

With in you is a landscape so vast and so wide that you generally only skim the surface day to day, year to year, lifetime to lifetime. When you arrive at the doorway of your own life, the edge -- a place where you know you must go in order to let go of something old and step into something new -- what choice will you make? If you choose to step into the threshold, you accept the invitation -- to bond with your own soul, know yourself more, trust yourself fully, and feel so full of your own self that you know in every moment that you have ultimate control over your own choices.

The story of Ganesha teaches us that expectations are finite but hopes are infinite. You won't have an elephant for a head after you cross your threshold, but I assure you this, you will have the ability to become something other than what you currently know is possible.

This weekend, I switched myself over from my beloved Boulder's Nextdoor online community forum to my new and primarily unknown community here. I also found the container of a dance floor to dance on and into not far from where I live. Yesterday, I met a new neighbor who is in charge of the front of home landscaping in my hood -- so my surroundings are going to get some much needed and over-due love, and a neighbor stopped to say hi with their Boston Terrier dog Miles Davis.

Let's see what next month brings.

With Love,

**Note: Patterns can take days, months, years, lifetimes to unravel. Releasing the idea that there is a timeline and focusing on the fact that you are essentially becoming something new will serve you greatly. The more you are able to resist the urge to control the timeline, the better it will go -- ie, the time and energy you expend resisting is time you could spend surrendering to the process. There are ways to support yourself in this process and I will be back with some posts about that. A supportive and experienced guide to hold space for this process to unfold is, in my experience, necessary. As always, I am honored to support you if you feel called**

When the Universe hears you say: Try me Motherfucker

One of the parts of my E book that has sparked the most aha’s and right on’s has been this: 

"One of the first things we need to begin to examine are the boxes we have been placed in and the roles we believe we should be playing. We depend upon labels, stereotypes and identities to help shape our experience of this world. However, when we allow ourselves to live inside of an identity that does not bend, we indirectly are saying something like this to the world: “I am put together.” “I am a go-getter.” “I am good.” “I would never hurt anyone.” ETC ETC. . .

This is what the universe hears back: 

“Try me motherfucker!””

If you resonate with and have absorbed this concept on some level, you are a smart cookie. You likely have an element of creative genius running through your veins, and we need YOU in the world. 

So, for all of you creative genius’ out there, here we go. 

First off, ask yourself this question: do you have the capacity for darkness? If your answer was along the lines of ‘no’, ’no way’, ‘not a chance’, ‘NO, how dare you ask me that’, it is likely that you are also experiencing some level of anxiety, grief, confusion, rage, fear, and/or maybe you find yourself placing blame on others for the way you feel. 

In general we have been duped into believing that life should be sparkly and amazing, right? Sometimes we go searching relentlessly for answers to questions that simply don’t make any sense and other times we feel like a victim to our circumstances and so we blame others for our own experience and feelings. All of these scenarios take us out of our place of power and away from being an empowered being. When we shut off our valve for darkness, we also shut off our valve for true light. The cycle of the night is imperative for the day, in fact, we cannot see the brightest things — the moon and the stars — in the sky with out it. When the goddess Kali — the goddess of transformation in post modern hindu mythology — reveals herself in full, she shows us that her ultimate power comes from being full darkness and full light one in the same time. 

We all have have the capacity to be the abuser and the abused, the insane as much as the sane, the wild as much as the tamed. When we recognize these parts of ourself and accept them as part of the whole of who we are, we free ourselves from the shackles of should. On the other hand, when we stuff ourself into a box it may make us believe we are in control but control is a tricky thing and so we are left feeling helpless, alone, sometimes in despair.

The Universe doesn't tolerate boxes, labels and fixed definitions (stereotypes) because she is in a constant state of expansion. Remember what it felt like after your first break-up or your second or third. You thought to yourself, “I will never ever love again.” Then, low and behold, there was more love. This principle is the same for everything out there — you only have to be alive to experience this phenomena.

When you say to yourself, “I am good”, “I am put together”, “I am a go-getter”, "I would never hurt anyone”, and the universe only has ears for expansion — you are essentially asking for a trial run. . . and try you it will because life is going to expand regardless of whether or not you get on its program.

How can you break out of the shackles of should and align and expand with the Universe?

Here are some strategies:

1. Ask yourself what fixed defintions and beliefs you hold about yourself.

2. Write down examples and times in which these beliefs have been challenged.

3. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that it is okay if who you are and who you believe you are don’t always line up.

4. Ask yourself what you need in order to accept the parts of yourself you don’t like. If you don't have the answer, reach out for support.

5. Shake it out — literally. Hold onto your pervasive belief about yourself and shake it out — like shake your whole body. Scream or beat on something if you need to. This will help you release. 

6. Integrate your shadow. Give yourself time with this part. Chapter 6 in my book is all about integration and I plan on writing a post exclusively on this soon. 

7. Become part of the solution — educate people about the consequences of stereotypes and labels. 

Keep doing steps 1-7, keep reaching out for support, keep remembering that you do not have to live on the binary map that we have invented because it may make some people feel better when other people are contained. Let yourself roar.

Go outside or go grab a pillow right now and yell at the top of your lungs, “Try Me Motherfucker”! It’ll feel good to get it out there — invite in the expansion because it’s coming whether you like it or not. Sending you courage and love!

With so much respect,


Opening to Your Creativity and Compassion

Your most wild, potent, and creative potential is at your finger tips! 

Stand in the fullest expression of your freedom and power!

In this video we will FULLY liberate ourselves in order to offer from a wholly, grounded and empowered place. Take part in this full body conversation with me and dance your way into your creativity and compassion.

Click here or click on the picture below for the video! 

With LOVE!


Recognizing the Blocks Holding You Back

Welcome to the first video in the four part video series about Letting Go and Moving Forward. This first video is all about learning how to recognize the blocks holding you back from living the life you want and need to live - a life filled with freedom.

I am so excited about this series! Letting Go can be a mysterious concept, and it is the key step and often the missing piece around living a fluid life. 

I had so much fun making this for you, I hope you enjoy.

Click on the pic below to watch the video!

With Love,


Connecting To Your Deepest Self

Here is the second video in the four part video series about Letting Go and Moving Forward! This second video is about connecting to your deepest sense of self, yes please!

I love what we are up to here together, and I loved making this video because once you learn this technique, it is like having your own Google mapping system inside yourself. Google Map of the Self. 

I love receiving your feedback, so please leave some for me here or on YouTube.

Click the pic below for your viewing pleasure!

With Love,


Letting Go With Reverence and Ritual

Welcome to video 3, Letting Go With Reverence and Ritual.

Ritual and reverence give us meaning and an opportunity to live ceremonial and celebratory lives.

I'm so glad you are here! This video is especially close to my heart.

Click the pic below and enjoy this vid!

With Love,


Allowing It to Exist in It's New Form

Welcome to the final video in the video series about Letting Go and Moving Forward. Woohoo, you made it. I hope this has been beneficial.

My favorite part of letting things go is when we truly allow them to exist in their new form. A deep shift takes place here. I would love to hear what you got out of this series, so leave me feedback here or on youtube.

Click the pic and have fun with this one! Happy viewing.

With Love,


The Art Of Tranformation

In conversation with two different people a few weeks ago:

"Transformation happens in the pause", I said.
"Exactly, it's a lost art", he said back.

"Transformation happens in the pause", I said.
"Yes, like negative space in art", she said back.

Transformation happens in the pause. 

Like negative space in the art that is life, it seems to be a lost art. We live in a world that is overly focused on the subject. Selfies, what's next, what's hot now, what's hot next, what's now, who is he, who is she, what's next, what's next, what's next? Most of us living in the US are living in an external world, a world where we often hear people say, "I wish there were more hours in the day." I beg to differ. I want my day to end and the next day to begin. I want to feel the goddess Ushas who welcomes us in with the dawn every day and says goodbye with the dusk each night. A new day. A new story line. Another chapter.

A pause.

The opportunity for transformation that happens in the pause is rich beyond words. It happens when we slow down enough to feel and reflect. It happens when we ask questions. It happens when we breath. There is, in fact, an opening for there to be transformation in every single line of the story. Every single breath. This place of deep stillness is often less recognizable. It is the beauty that occurs in the place that is not taken up by anything but holds everything. It sees and feels everything, and of course that can be terrifying. 

Please note, you can be wildly in movement and also be still if you are breathing.

The beauty of being alive is that there are developmental opportunities that are handed to us that allow us to stretch and grow and transform by their very nature. Like when we graduate from high school to college or college to "real life". When we go through a break up or get married. When we give birth, or when we lose someone. Society also hands us developmental opportunities. Like when Eric Garner is filmed being choked to death and the world wakes up to what has been going on since the start of our nation. Like when the first man was catapulted up to space. Like when we elected the first black president. Like when women were given the right to vote. Like like like like....you fill in the rest. These times have an inherent opening built into them. They are chaotic. Always if there is enough chaos, there will be a break...and when something breaks, it opens and there in lies an opportunity for something else to come in. Transformation is possible.

I believe we have been persuaded to believe that transformation only happens in the chaos, but I am much more invested in the transformation that happens in the wildly still spaces. The negative space. The place between the subjects. The breath. Because this level of transformation, it includes choice. 

Living in a just world means that we utilize choice when we have it. We choose to take space and take up space for each other. It means that we don't assume that we understand or that we know the answer to another person's story. It means that before we lend a hand we pause and we investigate into whether or not the other person needs it. It means that we start to work to let go of institutionalized fear so that there can be true compassion, and that we stop ourselves before we say something to someone that we should be saying to ourselves. It means we will defer to someone no matter their age, color, gender, or position. In order to employ change and growth we must choose to take up space for ourselves and each other because we don't live in a world where we all are given equal access, even equal access to the spaciousness of our own breath. 

Life will always be handing us opportunities for transformation.

The change that occurs because you give a shit about yourself, that growth is not handed to you.That growth you must seek out for yourself and use your senses to narrow in on its beauty.

And start to consider that it exists in the space in between what we are conditioned to believe should be at the forefront!

Sight Onset By Blindness

My sweet baby dog Frankie.

Frank is a girl by the way, and she's been with me since I was 31. I'm 40 now. My 30's were some of the most intense years of my life. 

I saw Frank's cousin - this is what I've always called the dog who came from the same breeders and a combination of the same dogs - on the street in NYC when I was just about to turn 31. I was with my Mom and we were walking up Amsterdam in the 80's. I know exactly where I was at the time (these are the types of things I have memory for). I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Frank's cousin, looked at the dog Mom and at my human Mom and said out loud, "I want that dog". Franks cousin's Mom and I proceeded to talk in length about her dog, where she got it, why she got it, etc etc. Somewhere in the conversation, dog Mom picked up the dog. As we were leaving the conversation and walking away, her dog put it's head on her shoulder. That was it. I was totally sold.

I went home, called the breeder, and reserved one from the next litter to be. When Frank's litter was born, I picked her out online, bought her a one way ticket to NY, and took a cab to JFK to pick her up. I had no idea what I was doing. My intuition has always been the strongest part of my decision making process. I understand that now and it is more integrated into who I am, so I can articulate it. Back then, I was just doing what I knew how to do. Feel, act, and then think.

The Boston Terrier breed, little to my knowledge at the time, is by far one of the sweetest breeds on the planet. They are absolutely hilarious (my favorite trait in anyone/anything) and they are cuddly beyond belief (my second favorite trait). So, Frank and I bonded very quickly and it wasn't long before she became my barometer: Frankie is as sensitive as they get and my neurosis at the time did not work for her.

**I want to go on record here and state that I've always considered some of my greatest teachers not to be those you might automatically qualify as a 'teacher'**

Often over the years, I've had people stop me while I am walking Frank and say they can see her communicating with me. She started this very early, and I listened VERY closely because I love this little being. There are a variety of things Frank urged me to consider about myself and I feel like the full of them and the 7 years leading up to this next part is another blog post so I'll just say thank you to her and fast forward 7 years. For now.

In January of 2012, I woke up one morning and realized Frank's left eye was NOT normal looking. I rushed her to the vet who told me see an eye specialist immediately. By the time we got to the eye specialist, it was clear that Frank's sight was gone in her left eye and her eye was terribly diseased. Frank had lost her sight previous to that morning upon a retinal detachment. Looking back, I am fairly certain it was a fight with a pit bull - she's a tough little sensitive creature. Like her Mom.

Because Frank's eye developed severe enough glaucoma, it had to be removed. I could go into detail about how bad I felt about not catching it earlier or the amount of heart strings that were tugged as I saw her through this, but I'm pretty sure I'd end up bawling at my computer. So, I'll just say, it wasn't easy. 

The good news is, Frank is a cuter one eyed dog than she was a two eyed dog and I became a glaucoma expert. No but really, I did become a glaucoma expert and the good news is that she adapted incredibly well and continued to do all of the things a two eyed creature would do. Frank is tenacious and driven. Like her Mom.

Fast forward another 2 1/2 years:

Last month, we were at one of our favorite walking paths in Boulder. It has a creek running through it and Frank loves to jump in after the ball and swim. That particular day, she jumped, swam, and then banged her eye on a rock. Her depth perception with one eye was always limited or non existent and she had bonked it a number of times since only having one. This time, however, I could see that her sight was limited immediately following the impact. We went right to the eye specialist - he and I have become very accustomed to each other over the years. They gave her some meds, we were good to go, and I was assured she'd be back to seeing fully with in a week.

The following week she was playing with a toy, and she gave the toy a shake. I watched, in that instant, my sweet baby dog go from seeing to blind. 

I could go through the whole thing, but I won't. Bottom line, Franks' eye hemorrhaged and the retina detached. This is pretty much the same 'freak' accident that happened in the other eye except this time I caught it right away and started treating it in a variety of supportive ways. At this point, Frank is primarily blind. We wonder if she can see big objects because she is navigating amazingly well since the blood in the back of the eye has decreased. There was a chance it may reattach some after the hemorrhage. For the most part, she can't 'see' much.

On Saturday I was up in Estes Park at the Yoga Journal Conference. Not taking yoga but shopping in the vendor village for yoga clothing deals, and I ran into several sweet yogi friends. One of whom is also a jewelry maker extraordinaire and all around mystical woman. She's also a friend who has a dog baby. We were talking about them and I told her Frank's situation.

But you know what, "she's happy" I said. It took a lot of support on my end and another notch up in our attunement to each other, but I believe she is as, or more relaxed blind than she was with sight. Frank has always been a warrier. Like her Mom.

She doesn't seem quite as nervous anymore. Quite as worried. Quite as jumpy. Quite as anxious. The opposite of what you would think from a dog that went from seeing to blind. As I was telling this to my friend, she said something to me and I cannot remember exactly what she said, but what I heard was - isn't it amazing when we are able to get over our limited perspective enough to see.

You see, Frank went blind but she gained a level of confidence I've never seen in her. She lost her visual sight, but she gained a new level of insight into the world around her. She cannot see much, if anything, but she can feel sharply and acutely. I am in awe of her. She has always been an internal creature (we call her an introvert), and in this process she seems to have stepped more fully into her internal world, which she seems to like. She's not as spooked by noises and I notice her ease at a level she never had before. I believe she likes living in this internal world of hers.

I've been urged by Frank yet again to look at myself and how I take on the world for her sake, as I am now Frank's barometer. We cannot go at our same pace anymore. We must go slower and more cautiously and with more information. If you read my last blog post you will know that this uncovering of inner order is part of what is helping me come further into balance. I have also been urged more fully into my own internal world which consists of a sort of knowing around how the natural world reveals and conceals and how complex living things and organisms operate, organize, weed out, and come to fruition. I have been urged towards providing a level of support for something other than myself that is not conditional, not dependent on what I may mistake as survival, and not tied into my ego. I have been clear about being more clear about the word 'no' and  I have remembered that we can never ever say something is only perceived as one way and one way alone.

It has come to my attention that in getting over my perception that her lost sight is 'bad' and recognizing that in blindness she may have gained a type of sight that is beyond what she was able to access with her eyes and has possibly settled into a world that feels more in order with her nature, I have opened to yet another layer of my own sight. This is in fact a layer that repeats itself over and over in my life: out of the muck comes the beauty.

This time I think I'll take it a bit deeper and say, the perceived muck is often the beauty.

One in the same.

Damn Frank, I love you!


I wrote this post last weekend and this week it has become clear that Frank has regained a small bit of her sight. This is pretty much a miracle as the vet told me not to hold onto hope for this. It's not much, but it's enough to navigate a step beyond where she was before (she can get into my bed now on her own for instance). She is still at ease, not jumpy, relaxed, happy. And pretty much the bomb. I trust that things will continue to unfold for her in a supportive, and healthy manner. And I will be there for her each step of the way.

Damn Frank, I love you!